Understanding The Anger Process

We all see and experience anger in different ways- and we all have individual methods of dealing with this powerful emotion when it occurs. Some are able to control it better than others, and some have no sense of when they are on the brink of a bad situation- about to turn worse. Anger is a two-step process which consist of two parts: Pain and Trigger Thoughts.

The first part- pain- is most commonly known to be emotional such as a feeling of loneliness, loss or rejection. It may also be physical, such as a headache or stomach pain. The feelings of pain are what fuel the emotion of anger- like a can of gasoline. The latter part of anger is the trigger- which is the match that ignites the flame. With both of these combined, we reach the actual emotion of anger which is made up of physical reactions, emotional reactions and behaviour. The physical reactions might include deep breathing, speedy heart beats or dilated pupils. Our emotional reactions may include the tears, sadness, pain or loneliness. These two part of anger lead to the last component- which is the actual behaviour, which are the actions that express the emotion such as yelling or screaming.

Now, how does anger affect our thinking? Even though it seems to be the most common response, is it the most effective? We find ourselves responding to particular events with anger, and we begin to think it is the event itself which makes us angry, although the event is not the culprit! It is the interpretation of the event that causes anger. Memory, creativity, and concentration weaken which affect our thinking, which also leads to irrationality.

The art of anger management (the ability to transform anger from a negative experience in to a position one) is  learning how to use your thoughts and feelings and behaviours so they work for you- not against you.

Anger Management: Having (and Maintaining) Control

Anger is a universal experience. We all get angry from time to time. All humans and animals experience the feeling of anger in different degrees, scenarios, environments and forms. The key to controlling anger is not to hide it, but to learn how to manage it. Managing anger productively is something few individuals, organizations and societies do well, yet those who find suitable strategies are much more productive and successful than those who can't seem to find the right approach.

When we look at a co-worker who can productively confront their associate about a negative attitude, we realize that this increases the team's chance of success as well as minimizes the risk of destructive conflict. The customer service agent who has the skills to defuse an angry customer will be successful in keeping loyalty and also make their day less troublesome. Organizations who have individuals working for them who can handle anger strategically will have a greater edge.

The goal of anger management should be to reduce your emotional feelings and the type of physiological stimulation that angry emotions provoke. To attempt to get rid of or avoid things or people who anger you is not realistic- but it is possible to learn to control what you do about it. Building a relationship and understanding with our emotions will allow us to manage them, rather than letting them manage us. Most of the time, our instincts will tell us to respond to anger aggressively. It is a natural way to respond when we feel threatened, and this is what inspires powerful feelings and behaviours which help us fight back when 'under attack'.

Self-awareness is a key element for managing your own anger. You must be able to identify when you are angry and what triggers are cues for when something is wrong. Expressing your anger in an assertive, but not aggresive, way is safe and healthy. In order to understand and develop the skills associated with anger management, think of anger as five interrelated dimensions which all operate simultaneously.

For example, what you think (thoughts) when you are angry influences how you feel (emotions). How you feel when you are angry influences how you communicate (ways). How you communicate affects how you think (experience), and how you think affects how you behave (act). When you put this in to your own perspective and understand how it relates to you, you will be able to work on the parts that need improving for yourself and become a better manager of your anger.

You might be asking yourself- what are my next steps for dealing with my anger and anxiety? We would tell you this: take some time to assess all of your interrelated dimensions of anger and identify where there are gaps. Which dimension do you find yourself getting stuck in more often than others? Once you are able to identify the gaps within yourself, start exploring which techniques might work best for you to try when controlling your stress in heated situations.

What have you found works best for you when controlling and maintaining your feelings of anger?

The True Role of a Leader

We all know and have leaders in our life. Whether they are a public figure, a mentor, an associate or a friend, they all have one thing in common: they are effective in all of their efforts. When we think about the definition of leading, we think first-mover, being proactive and consistently being ahead of the curve. What we may not realize is that all individuals who posess leadership abilities also have an innate ability to do one thing better than others which is what truly classifies them as leaders- and that is to inspire.

Many think that the role of a leader is to motivate. This is partly true, however, when we look at leadership from a progressive point of view it is clear to see that through motivation comes inspiration. Motivation comes from within, when inspiration is simply external efforts which help to drive internal motivations. Through effective inspiration comes great motivation- to do, to believe and to achieve. If you are in a management position and your consistent efforts to motivate don't seem to be working- try a different approach, and focus on being your team's inspiration to become more internally motivated. If organizations want their teams to start thinking and performing at much higher levels than they currently are, all leaders must implement strategies that increase overall associate well-being and comfort within their roles.

As a leader, your role is also to be an effective communicator. This role should be based on your skill and ability to listen constructively, question skillfully, and to coordinate the contributions of each individual who is part of your team. Every leader will develop their own style and approach to doing things. As leaders, sometimes expectations can be very high. In order to experience higher job satisfaction, expectations should be decreased. This will help you to get a better grasp on how you are inspiring your team to work collectively and achieve common goals, all while becoming more internally motivated to perform at higher levels.

Think about the leaders in your life. Do they inspire you to reach your full potential?

What's Cooking...

Our team has been cooking up a storm- of opportunity! This year we are placing a focus on the development of our most valuable assets in today's business world- our people. The growth of human capital is essential in order to develop collectively as individuals, companies and communities.

For business professionals, it is important to recognize your key strengths and capabilities. This will help you to distinguish what it is you bring to the organization you are part of. In order to bring added value and passion to your work environment and career, you must first feel the drive and desire internally. The wealth of knowledge that is available in this world is endless- and it is all at your fingertips. Personal growth will come from within- when given the tools and techniques to apply.

Let's focus on you. What is it that motivates you on a daily basis? Is it being able to provide for your family, is it the satisfaction that comes from a taste of success which keeps you going, or is it simply the fact that you are giving back to the world in which you live in? It may be all of the above- which makes it even more important to always go back to the core- which is you and your personal growth as an individual.

When we place ourselves in a learning environment, we are become inspired, engaged and eager to take in all there is to know. Too much is never enough, and too little? No such thing. Every bit of information you take in will be of value to you, and you will find yourself seeking opportunities to further that existing knowledge. Every seed you plant has the ability to grow, as long as it is given the right nurture and attention it needs.

We believe in people- and we believe in you. Have you planted your seeds for success? Or better yet, have you given them the resources they require for growth?

New Year, New Opportunities.

Happy New Year!

We are working on launching many great opportunities in 2013 to share with all of our supporters, fans, clients and communities. Thank you to all who showed their support last year. For the relationships we've built, we are grateful. For the relationships we will build, we are excited!

Be sure to check in with us often on our Website, Facebook page and Blog to stay informed and updated about what is upcoming! We will continue to deliver valuable, useful information and resources that will help you grow- personally and professionally.

To Your Success,
The Trained By Pros Team



3 Steps for Conflict Resolution

When it comes time to resolve any issues that are either new or ongoing, or dealing with difficult people and situations, it is very common for many of us to shy away and not want to face the problem head-on. In this case, there is no such thing as resolution- because nothing ever gets resolved. It is necessary to understand that proper conflict resolution involves three important steps; it is about knowing how to actively listen, how to understand and acknowledge the “real” issue and finding ways to seek a common solution.

The first most essential piece of the puzzle is learning how to actively listen, which involves three steps. First, the use of non-verbal messaging is very important when displaying that you are interested in what the other party has to say. Cues or invitations can also be used. These include phrases such as “Okay”, “Yes” and “Go On”- all of which signal our attention and will invite an individual to continue talking comfortably. Last but not least, clarification of what has been said is very important. We can do this in one of several ways: by asking questions, summarizing what has been said, or paraphrasing the message in your own words.

The next step is developing an understanding and acknowledging the real issue that you are experiencing- personally or professionally. It is important to clarify what the issue is, when it started and what feelings and emotions came along with it. By identifying the real issue, all parties will be able to understand more fully why there is conflict occurring and how it can be properly dealt with. In order to walk away from a situation having everyone mutually content, a common solution must be achieved. No good can come from a “temporary” fix to a problem. In order to build solid relationships for the future, each and every conflict should result in a common solution that will evenly satisfy all parties. This will prevent future issues from escalating, and will leave everyone with a confident feeling of knowing how to pursue a resolution process which will achieve a favorable end result- every time! 

Managing Times of Turmoil

Operating in an environment or market that is experiencing a down-turned economy is not the most ideal situation. But, that does not mean that there aren’t ways to take advantage of these times and make the best of them. The most important thing to remember is that there are always signs when an economy may experience turmoil and unstable futures. By being able to anticipate these times and preparing for them is crucial. You can’t be “blind-sided” by the onset of turmoil in your business and your market. Awareness and preparation for the hard times ahead is what will allow you to prosper.   

There are two important things to remember for managing these hard times: Prepare for the storm and stop playing hide and seek with your customers!  Anyone who is expecting the worst will be prepared for the worst. The nice thing is, turmoil does not always have to be a bad thing, because if you are prepared for it you will be able to manage it appropriately. Realize that during the chaos of the economy and after the dust has settled, you and your business will be remembered; and being remembered by your existing or potential customers is one of the fundamental keys to success!

It is important when you are trying to manage your way out of times of turmoil to not hide from your customers! Now is the perfect time to rally with your team to spread your marketing messages and reach out to current and potential customers. Your customers will notice your efforts and will commend you for them.

Managing a business is hard, but managing during times of turmoil may bring increased stress and challenges. Make sure you are aware of the most essential skills for effective management of your business. Take these hard times and attempt to view them differently. After all, things usually have to get worse before they get better. If you take the right steps and put in the effort while things are good before they get worse, you will experience a greater satisfaction when everything starts to turn around.